First Lady Jill Biden has reportedly taken away the presidents flip phone after he was overheard giving nuclear launch codes to an unidentified caller. When asked, the president stated that a very nice Indian fellow from Nuclear Weapons Tech Support called him. The support person then stated that the launch codes were expiring and needed to be reset. He was also told that if he didn’t provide the launch codes, he would no longer be able to unlock the nuclear football. The president, eager to keep the launch codes current, provided the existing codes without question.
Secret Service personnel immediately reflected on a bizarre event last week where the president requested $432,000 in prepaid Visa gift cards from a nearby grocery store. At the time, the Secret Service agents believed the president was just doing his Black Friday shopping. The cards were procured and given to the president as requested.
It also appears that the president has provided an undisclosed amount of money to an imprisoned crown prince who needed help recovering his fortune.