Damascus Dispatch

We distort. You decide.

About

Damascus Dispatch Staff

Damascus Dispatch is dedicated to delivering hard hitting satire, not the watered-down stuff you’ll find on other sites. Our goal is to be 1000% factually incorrect all of the time while entertaining you with the real stupidity that is plaguing society today.

Editor in Chief – Peter Socul

Peter Socul, Editor In Chief is a master at writing hard hitting satire

Peter Socul has no experience in media other than having been a member of his high school journalism team. As a photographer there, he spent lots of time in the dark room where the rest of the class wouldn’t bother him. He has even less experience in web design which is obvious as you peruse this website. Peter’s nonexistent business acumen is sure to be the downfall of the Damascus Dispatch, which will, at least, result in a spectacular ball of flames.

Contributing Editor – Raven Lair

Raven Lair

She’s hot! (But that’s not why we hired her.)

The witty Raven Lair is the only member of the staff with professional journalism experience. She studied broadcasting and worked in the television and sportscasting industries for years. She also has an MBA in IT Business, making her the most qualified of all Damascus Dispatch contributors. Without her, this stuff wouldn’t be funny at all.

Field Correspondent and Investigative Reporter – Tim Tinker

Tim Tinker, Investigative Reporter

Tim doesn’t know anything about reporting or journalism either. He likes math, but is no good at it and hates English, which turned out to be his strongest subject in High School. When asked about Tim’s expertise, Peter Socul gave a glowing endorsement, “Well, we’ll take what we can get, and his rejection by another popular satire site means he must be doing something right.”

Field Correspondent – Dilford P Schlage

Dil writes hard hitting satire, with a demented twist.

We are proud to announce that Dilford has been fully reinstated and is no longer considering his move to San Francisco. Prior to a short stint as janitor during an investigation into his identity, Dilford came to us straight outta Compton. Well maybe not straight out of Compton, as he’s had a long and winding career before joining the Damascus Dispatch. This former Navy corpsman is also a certified psyche tech, long haul trucker, call center operator, certified CPR instructor, and voracious writer. His over the edge irreverent approach to humor is often too much for even this hard-hitting satire outlet, but we like the way he thinks.

Investigative Anthropologist – Robert H. Undercroft

Damascus Dispatch proudly welcomes to our staff a pioneer in the burgeoning new field dubbed Investigative Anthropology. The one and only Robert H. Undercroft: Neanderthal Economist/Gigolo/Spy.

When asked why he wanted to join the Damascus Dispatch team, he replied, “I was something of a model in a past life; left it behind to pursue my passion – Neanderthal economics, at the moment.”

How could we say no?