The Biden administration has appointed illegal alien Fidel Hugo Maduro-Chavez to head up the Office of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition at the Office of Nuclear Energy. He will replace the disgraced Sam Brinson who is on paid administrative leave after accusations of stealing luggage from at least two major airports. According to the Biden administration, Maduro-Chavez is highly qualified since he checks off more diversity boxes than other proposed candidates.
In a joint press conference with the Vice President, Biden gushed about the new appointment. “The Harris-Biden administration continues to break down barriers through its policy of Diversity, Inclusion, Equity, Happiness, Acceptance, Respect, and Dignity. We call it our DIE-HARD policy,” The president said. “Never before has an administration appointed an undocumented immigrant to such a high office. We have confidence in this guy because it’s a known fact that Mexicans are hard workers. He took a beating at the Mexican border just to get here. Not to mention that Mr. Maduro-Chavez is way better than that Oppenheimer guy who only scored half point on our diversity scale.”
Vice President Harris chimed in with her traditional word salad, “In this administration, our diversity is our strength. And it takes strength to bring such diversity to the American people. Not just North America, but all of America. South America, Central America, and Latinx America all help make our diverse Americas stronger together than ever. And by accepting our strength through diversity we will remain strong. Together!” The attending crowd of journalists erupted in applause.
Biden finished out the presser, not by taking questions, but with one final statement. “I’m not saying the border is open, but if you’re willing to vote for me…” He then gave a big thumbs up, turned around twice, stumbled into the lectern, and was lured off stage with an ice cream cone.