The DOJ decided Tuesday not to send FBI agents to Bidens Delaware home to monitor his attorneys’ search for classified material. But the DOJ reversed course upon learning that Biden had retained defense attorney Ben Matlock to conduct the document search. The DOJ moved swiftly, appointing renowned detective Barney Fife to run interference. It’s obviously not the first time these two have run into each other. But they’re on opposite sides of the case this time and in this showdown between Biden and the DOJ, things are sure to get ugly.
After his afternoon nap, Biden was said to be enjoying a cup of warm cocoa in front of the TV. This was when Biden realized there was only one hope of beating the DOJ if matters came down to it. He phoned the White House operator and demanded she ring attorney Ben Matlock ASAP, if not sooner. After a quick search on yellowpages.com, the operator located a Texas defense attorney named Matlock who agreed to take the case. The operator was fully aware that this wasn’t even close to the same Matlock on the television program. But knowing the president’s cognitive capacity, she figured he’d never know the difference.
Attorney General Merick Garland was said to be in a panic upon hearing that Biden had lawyered up. Not to be outdone, Garland found a suitable Barney Fife stand in. He had the Kernersville NC man deputized, and immediately dispatched him to the Biden residence in Delaware. If you’re up for some real entertainment, stay tuned. The comic showdown between Biden and the DOJ is just getting warmed up.