EU flour prices

Days after the EU approved the use of crickets in flour, prices doubled as hoarders, speculators and conspiracy theorists strip grocery shelves bare. One Belgian shopper was aghast, “It’s absolutely insane! This may be the last time we ever see pure flour at the market.” Government officials took to the airwaves to calm panicked buyers. “Please be calm. There is nothing to worry about.” assured German Chancellor Olaf Scholz. “There is plenty of real flour for everyone. No one is intending on actually using cricket flour anyway.”

But government reassurances did little to calm the public. Fighting broke out in the normally quiet provincial town of Coutances, France. One man was hospitalized after a group of angry bakers found him making off with over a hundred pounds of pure uncut cake flour. “I needed it for my croissants. I can’t have crickets in my croissants,” the man later plead from his hospital bed. Consumer confidence is not likely to recover any time soon. Especially in light of actions by organizations such as the World Economic Forum (NWO) (WEF) to push alternative food sources. Until then, like it or not, it looks like crickets are on the menu.