An entirely new body of research, Investigative Anthropology (IA), has shed new light on the precipitous fall of the Neanderthal species. According to research by Damascus Dispatch’s own Investigative Anthropologist, Robert H. Undercroft, administrative extinction doomed Neanderthals. In this in-depth article, Mr. Undercroft will take us through newly interpreted evidence, including cave drawings, fossil remains, archeological digs, and interpolation of prior research. Let’s dig in to the “Administrative Extinction” issues that ultimately took down the greatest hominid population of its time.
Recently discovered documents (AKA cave drawings) revealed the origin of tribal positions such as ‘Existential Economics Professor’, ‘Petroglyphic Proof Reader’, and ‘Consequential Disciplinary Activist’. This particular drawing depicts a Keynesian caveman tossing bales of dried whale baleen fibers – the preferred currency of the time – to the masses, who apparently devalued their physical efforts to near zero. The key figure here is “Ehrrg”, Neanderthal’s first Existential Economics Professor
Ehrrg shows the path to Neanderthal administrative extinction
The recurrence of Ehrrg throughout a number of cave drawings suggests that he was a powerful and revered member across several Neanderthal tribes. Additionally, there is another body of documents that have only recently been identified as Ehrrg’s own work. This group of cave drawings turn out to be infographics, created by Ehrrg, to profess the importance of existential economics. From this collection, we can see into the mind of Ehrrg. The drawings demonstrate a calculated rise of existential economics and its desired societal impact. Hunting and gathering were relegated to commoners as ideals became the currency of the elite.
Earliest know depiction of Ehrrg 
Ehrrg’s early infographic showing initial concepts of economics 
Another early Ehrrg infographic 
Ehhrg demonstrates the decline of the hunting lifestyle 
Ehrrg infographic on administrative bloat 
Additional evidence demonstrating emphasis on the decline of hunting 
This Ehrrg infographic explaines existential economics for Neanderthal children 
Ehrrg’s interpretation of the rise of existential economics 
Ehrrg’s most sophisticated infographic, just before the final decline of the Neanderthal
The actualization of administrative extinction
It wasn’t until the advent of the Petroglyphic Proof Reader that we start to see the real burden of administrative overhead. Even Ehrrg’s own Infographics were edited to coincide with the ever-expanding narrative of administrative superiority. Early in Neanderthal culture, these early editors were few and far between. But by the time Neanderthals reached their apex, nearly six in ten found employment in Petroglyphic Proof Reading. But even these adept administrators were no match for the ultimate Neanderthal bureaucrats, the Consequential Disciplinary Activists.
Consequential Disciplinary Activists would become the topmost burdensome layer of an already cumbersome and brittle bureaucracy. Despite containing the word “activists”, the title is a bit misleading. These elite members of Neanderthal society were adept at inciting others toward inaction, steering them away from increasingly unpopular activities like hunting and gathering. Consequential Disciplinary Activists emphasized the importance of contemplating the outcomes of one’s action over actually doing anything. Eventually, a cave drawing showing how to hunt was more valuable than the meat produced by an actual hunt.
Ultimately, the administrative weight of the already massive evolutionary pressures of the Neanderthal species proved to be too great to survive. In the end administrative extinction is what doomed Neanderthals.