Fed proposal to U-Haul Cash

After hearing yesterday’s announcement that the Fed would be printing billions of dollars at Kinko’s facilities, U-Haul CEO Edward Schoen came up with a proposal. U-Haul would loan thousands of trucks to the Fed to ship newly printed cash back to California at no cost. Schoen’s plan was a brilliant move to get his trucks back into California, where people are moving out in Droves. “This plan is a win-win-win for everyone involved. The Fed gets free shipping, U-Haul gets trucks back into California, and residents there have a way to move out.” The plan was floated to the public by Janet Yellen and Jerome Powell. But the Fed proposal to U-Haul cash into California was immediately nixed by Governor Gavin Newsom.

Newsom made his position clear on Late Night with Jimmy Kimmel. “The Fed proposal to U-Haul cash is stupid. The last thing California needs is a bunch of trucks polluting our air and clogging our freeways. A better plan would be to use Fed-Ex trucks.” When asked why, he stated, “Well for one, Fed-Ex trucks can’t be used to move people out of the state. And secondly, their trucks are already at the printing locations. I also think we could have a shipping contract with Fed-Ex. It could be paid by simply printing a little more money to cover the shipping costs.” He failed to mention that he has a significant amount of stock in Fed-Ex. Nor did he mention that a huge government contract would definitely be in his favor.