Asheville, NC
A group of parents, whose children returned home after successfully completing college, petitioned to have their street renamed. Residents of Kenilworth Road were frustrated after their grown kids moved back in and infringed on their late-night activities. Frustrated parents took action and renamed the street, Cockblock Blvd. One resident, who asked to remain anonymous said, “While Jenny was in college, I was gettin’ it at least three times a week. But since she moved back two years ago, I don’t think I’ve gotten laid three times. Maybe she’ll get the message when she has to tell people she lives on Cockblock Boulevard.”
Millennial boomerangers across the country were outraged at the insensitivity of the parents. One went on a tirade on the X platform blasting the parents. @entitledlittlebitch tweeted, “I can’t believe the City allowed this to hapen [sic]. And the inscencitive [sic] parents? They should be evicted or better yet, die” Another, @deservemyinheritancenow ranted, “You people don’t understand the trauma we went through. The fragility of a recent grad’s psyche should not be toyed with. Not only did we spend six years studying for a degree that no one is willing to pay us for, but we’ve racked up insurmountable debt doing it. Shouldn’t we be entitled to a safe space to heal after such trauma?”
Supporters of the renaming also sounded off. In typical Baby Boomer fashion, @OldManEmsley quipped, “Ha!” And @SleepfulInSeattle said, “I feel their pain. Since our kids moved back in, I’ve gotten at least 8 hours of sleep every night. And I couldn’t be more #frustrated. What are my chances of convincing my husband to move to 69 Cockblock Blvd, Asheville NC?”