Gig economy is booming

The US Labor Department published its September jobs report early this month. They were ecstatic to announce that the job market expanded by 1 whole job in September. They were also quick to point out that the new job added was extremely high paying. “The gig economy is booming,” stated Acting Labor Secretary Julie Su. “Contract jobs that offer $150,000 for a single deliverable are highly sought after. This kind of work will surely be in higher demand if Harris gets elected in November.”

The job published by the DoJ on Monday, is a contract hit job on the former president. Would-be assassin Ryan Routh is offering $150,000 to anyone who can “finish the job.” While Routh personally doesn’t have the money to back the offer, there are plenty of organizations willing to help back the deal. GoFundMe, Planned Parenthood, George Soros, the DNC, FF PAC, US Secret Service, DoJ, Department of Education, Teachers Union, Hamas, Hezbola, The Hague, and the IRS have all pledged support.