President Biden held an unscheduled press conference Saturday announcing big changes to his cabinet following the outrageously successful election showing by Democrats this week. While the presser seemed to start off well, it was clear that the president went off script when he got confused by the messaging coming across the teleprompter.
“I’d like to start off by saying that the members of my cabinet have done a wonderful job so far, and I have the utmost respect for them. But after serious consideration, I’ve decided that several posts need a reboot.” It was at this point that things started going off the rails for the confused president. “What was I saying, Oh yes, the cabinet posts that…. Wait a minute. What the hell are cabinet posts? Have you ever heard of such nonsense? Fences have posts, not cabinets. I think… I think we should just get rig of all the posts and just have a cabinet.”
Unfortunately, Dr. Jill Biden wasn’t close enough to correct the president in his confusion. When the press corps errupted with questions, White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre quickly nudged the president from the mic and stated that the president would not be taking any further questions, and the president was quickly lured offstage with an ice cream cone.
The event raised questions across the aisle about the presidents mental acuity. However critics of the president were immediately spurned as ableist, systemic oppressors, with no compassion for the mentally challenged. Vice president Kamala Harris said later, “you can’t knock the guy for screwing up once in a while. I do it all the time, and I still have my job.” To which US senator elect John Fetterwoman (D) Pennsylvania quickly agreed. In a tweet following the press conference, Fetterwoman stated “I don’t think cabinets should have posts either”