The unsanitary streets of San Francisco are destined to continue their downhill slide. After a majority of the city’s budget was blown on killer robots, SF Board of Supervisors had no choice but to dump plans to purchase Roomba robots to clean up the streets. “It’s unfortunate,” said one city resident. “I’m more likely to have a nasty encounter with a used hypodermic needle or pile of human feces than a dangerous criminal.” She added, “The San Francisco Board has no sense of the real problems residents face on a daily basis.”
The SF Board of Supervisors downplayed the decision, saying that street cleaning robots threatened job security of thousands of sanitation workers. President of the board, Shamann Walton, stated, “Sanitation workers, who are primarily African American, would have been unjustly denied high paying employment opportunities if we’d gone through with the plan. You must be joking if you think I’d have anything to do with a plan to further denigrate black lives by replacing them with Roombas” Mayor London Breed also weighed in on the decision. “Replacing sanitation workers with Roombas would mean layoffs. And that would only add to the homeless problems the city faces.”
A spokesman from iRobot, the manufacturer of Roomba, expressed relief at the city’s decision. “We just perfected Roomba AI to purposely avoid poop piles.”