Black smoke was seen rising from the capitol dome Wednesday after the house failed, once again, to elect a speaker. After their sixth failed attempt, disorganized house republicans decided to burn ballots rather than face their constituents. Coal dust and diesel fuel were added to the ballots to produce the desired black smoke.
The lead candidate for the position, Kevin McCarthy stated, “This is a sacred position, one that should not be taken lightly. We owe it to the American people to signal the propensity of this decision, and I can’t think of a better way to symbolize it.” He later added, “I am definitely the best candidate for the position. So please contact your representative and ask them for my support on your behalf.”
Black Lives Matter (BLM) was quick to point out how inherently racist the U.S. government is. On their official twitter account they asked, “Why’d they have to use Black smoke rising to show election failure? #RacistPigs”