Drive Thru Prices

While government officials and mainstream media boast that inflation is slowing, everyday Americans have reason to believe otherwise. Drive thru prices are one area that inflation is palpable. On a recent trip to my local burger joint, I paid $32.54 for my daughters three-piece chicken nugget meal and asked to pull forward to the pick-up window. Thirteen minutes later, when I finally arrived at the pickup window, I was asked for an additional $7.21. “But I already paid,” I complained.

“I’m sorry Ma’am, or sir, oh, excuse me, what are your preferred pronouns?” the guy with a blue and red mohawk behind the window asked.

“Dude, look at me. Can’t you tell I’m a chick?”

“I’m sorry Ma’am, but you just intentionally misgendered me by calling me Dude.”

“Whatever,” I replied. “But what about this $7.21?”

“Well, the prices went up before you picked up your food, so I need you to pay the difference.”

“If you people would get the lead out of your asses, you probably could have cooked it faster than the prices went up.”

“I’m sorry Ma’am. You offended the furries that work with me by calling them people. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“I’m not even in the restaurant! Here’s your $7.21. Can I have my food?” Mohawk person took my money and gave me the bag of food. Upon inspection, I saw that there were only two nuggets in the bag. “Hey, you forgot one of the nuggets. I ordered a three-piece nugget meal.”

“Yes, but by the time you finished paying, the prices went up again and you only paid for two. If you want another nugget, I’ll need another $3.12.”

I’m glad I didn’t order the egg McMuffin!