Kinko's worker printing money to bail out SVB

The President announced Monday that there would be no bail out for the failed SVB bank. He further stated, “reimbursements to depositors would come at no cost to taxpayers.” Janet Yellen was tasked with coming up with a plan, specifically not a bail-out, to “make depositors whole”. She requested Jerome Powell, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank print up the $200,000,000,000 to cover the bank’s assets deposits. Unfortunately, Federal Reserve printing presses are at full capacity with no chance to print that much money. Compounding the issue, federal reserve printing presses are at half capacity because they have been running overtime for the last two years.

Yellen’s new plan involves reviving the defunct Kinko’s printing shops to begin printing money for SVB depositors. Under the plan that does not bail out SVB, the Treasury will seize all printing capacity from the corporate giant FedEx Office – who acquired Kinko’s in a 2004 leveraged buyout. After that, 68,000 recently hired IRS agents will be deployed to FedEx Office Kinko’s stores across the nation to begin printing money. The whole operation is expected to take three to six weeks. On completion, printing assets will be relinquished back to FedEx Office. Then the 68,000 IRS agents will return to work and begin collecting taxes on the newly disbursed cash. This will be the second time the Biden Administration leans on Kinko’s to advance their cause. With Election 2024 looming on the horizon, it is not expected to be the last.