WNBA changes rules

Amid mounting pressure, an announcement came today that the WNBA will change rules to protect rookie sensation Caitlin Clark. Clark has been flagrantly fouled in every game since her meteoric start in the WNBA. Yet officials seemed to be turning a blind eye, presumably because of Clarks white privilege. But league owners finally cracked down on the officials and voted on rule changes that will protect the rookie protege and the newfound WNBA following.

Starting immediately, Clark will not be allowed to cross the half court line into the opponent’s territory. This will prevent her drawing intentional fouls from disgruntled players. Clark’s shots will also be limited to 1 point, regardless of where she is on her half of the court. Also, in the unlikely event that she does draw a foul, her foul shots will be made from behind the free throw line on the opposite side of the court.

WNBA spokespersons stated that they occasionally change rules as necessary to promote safety and ticket sales. Leage owners, officials, players, and press corps alike agree that this is the fairest solution to the Clark fouling problem.