In an emergency meeting today, the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) updated its hurricane naming guidelines to include last names on all named storms. “By assigning ominous last names we believe we can raise awareness to the existential threat of global climate change,” stated the leader of the WMO. Their website was promptly updated showing all storms with the last name Trump. They also renamed the current storm from “Hurricane Milton” to “Hurricane Milania Trump“. “This demonstrates the urgency of the climate change crisis.”
WMO also updated storm first names with all six “B” designations being changed to “Barron”. Similarly, all “D” named storms will be named “Donald” and all “E” designated storms named “Eric”. “I” named storms will, of course, be “Ivanka”. They took a different tack on “M” named storms, alternating between “Milania” and “Marla”.
Last naming of storms is also retroactive. WMO published new reports on the devastation caused by Hurricanes Hugo Trump Junior and Hurrican Andrew Trump. An entire page was dedicated to Hurricane Katrina Trump and she/her disproportionate impact on people of color, women, and especially the LgBTQIA+n community.