Damascus Dispatch was slapped with digital blackface accusations after it was discovered that one of its contributors, Dilford P. Schlage, is not black, as depicted in his bio. Editor In Chief, Peter Socul, issued this statement late Friday: “We immediately suspended Mr. Schlage upon hearing of the accusations. We’ve been working closely with our HR consultants, on how best to handle the situation.”
While a final decision on Mr. Schlage’s employment has not been made, we can share some of the details that have come out. The initial response from our HR partner NBD Consulting, was to immediately terminate Dilford. They later reneged on that advice contending that he actually does identify as a brother. Dilford was on unpaid leave but has been temporarily reinstated as an “environmental engineer”, mostly cleaning bathrooms and sweeping floors.
During the ongoing investigation, Dilford expressed a desire to be recognized by his full first name. He claimed that certain stereotypes about guys who use their full first name would tarnish his reputation. In order to avoid embarrassment, he alternatively chose to represent himself as a person of color. “It wasn’t all that hard,” Dilford admitted. “These clowns hired me over the phone. I could have sent them a picture of a hamster, and they’d never known the difference.” For now, “Dilford” will continue to work as a janitor until we can figure out the least litigious means to deal with the digital blackface accusations.