Famous hacker group Anonymous announced a huge layoff today of 15,000 “Consultants” by Friday due to lack of funding. The group had been syphoning funds from the now defunct SVB until its collapse last week. A leader for the group spoke to Damascus Dispatch on terms of anonymity. He (or she) stated, “When the bank shut down, the algorithms we had running on their servers ceased operations. We could no longer capture fractional cents — basically rounding errors — on transactions and divert them to our offshore accounts.”
The Anonymous leader continued, “One of the first to go will be our Risk Manager, code-named Snafu. It is unfortunate that Snafu’s business continuity plan relied on backup algorithms running on servers at Signature Bank. Fucking idiot! It is so-o-o-o-o-o-o disappointing that we will have to scale back on the important services we provide to the community.”