The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), along with most other administrative offices of the government, have shifted their traditional focus. In the past, FDA’s mission was to promote health through education on food and drug safety. Under the current administration, their focus has shifted toward food and drug “equity”, “sustainability”, and “inclusiveness”. Considering the shift in focus it’s no surprise that the FDA recommended Easter dinner for 2023 looks a lot different than in years past.
The FDA recommends replacing the traditional ham with cricket flour empanadas. According to the FDA, “crickets have a protein content close to 60% as well as essential amino acids, vitamins, minerals and fatty acids. Crickets are a versatile, sustainable, locally sourced food item. They are native in all inhabitable environments from deserts to rain forests. They require no pesticides, and eat anything, including dirt. We suggest empanadas as they are culturally diverse and the majority of people who eat them are of Christian faith, which connects to Easter quite easily.”
The FDA also recommends a small starter salad of dandelion greens and wilted kale. They state that field greens (aka weeds) would also suffice. The justification for this salad is that harsh laws curbing the use of herbicides and fertilizers have resulted in a natural resurgence of dandelions. “People can just go out to their own front yard and pick these delicious, nutritious greens to their heart’s content.”
For vegetable side dishes, coal smoked carrots and steamed purple jicama root are this year’s go to. With gas stoves soon to be phased out, coal smoking carrots is sure to catch on. They can be smoked in an affordable, coal burning stove. But the FDA’s recommendation is to heat coal powder in an electric smoker, and simply pump the coal smoke over the carrots as a green, sustainable alternative. The jicama root suggestion is also a nod to cross cultural inclusion that Americans are so desperately in need of.
Wrapping up the Easter dinner is a more traditional dessert with a modern twist. They suggest a “delicious unsweetened, gluten free, lactose eliminated, coconut cream cake. By removing gluten and lactose, this dessert gets immediate points for including people with these common food allergies. For further inclusion, replace the coconut with pine bark shavings and you’ll also satisfy those with tree nut allergies. Being sugar free, we can be sure that children won’t overeat this dessert. But even if they do like it, they can eat as much as they please.”