Recently, an airline passenger couldn’t be successfully screened as either “male” or “female” by airport passenger scanning devices. The “trans” identifying person was initially sent through a “female” scanner, based on the fact that it appeared to be a woman to Transportation Security Agency (TSA) screeners. The scanner, detecting male genitalia, correctly rejected the passenger. The passenger was then processed through a “male” scanner, which also rejected it because of its obvious breasts. The passenger, who subsequently had to be patted down, sued the TSA for discrimination. As a result, TSA will spend $139.4 Billion on TSA Trans Scanners to resolve the issue.
According to the TSA, existing scanners will be upgraded or replaced to handle both breasts and testicles. The cost of the TSA Trans Scanners will be paid for through multiple channels. Airfare, bus, and train tickets will be assessed a 1% surcharge. Taxi fares that involve airport originations or destinations will also be increased by 1%. All Uber and Lyft ride sharing programs will incur a 23% surcharge to support the cause. And finally students participating in the federal school lunch program will experience a 75% increase in prices to fully fund the program.
“Our children are our future,” president Joe Biden said on the issue. “It only makes sense that children should help fund this program that ensures the acceptance of their trans rights.”