According to an anonymous informant at CNN, the outcome of Thursday’s presidential debate is likely to be decided by a giant game of Tic Tac Toe. Moderator Jake Tapper and co-host Dana Bash will keep the game fair by ensuring Trump is not allowed to make any “blocking moves” with his big red Xs. Biden, who still isn’t sure about who his running mate will be in the upcoming election, is the media’s odds on favorite to win.
Las Vegas bookmakers, however, are showing a 72.44% chance of the game ending in a Cat’s Game. Trump has a 24.08% chance of winning and Biden slides in at 1.11%. When asked about his dismal odds of beating the president, Donald Trump replied, “well if Juicy Joe isn’t pumped full of embalming fluid, or whatever it is they do to keep that guy looking alive, I’m sure I can kick his skinny little @$$. And even if he is on the juice, I could still beat him in a giant game of Tic Tac Toe with half my brain tied behind my back.”