Colleges and universities across America are facing an enrollment crisis. For decades they’ve been lowering, relaxing, or completely eliminating merit based admission policies. With enrollment at an all time low, many are looking to eliminate the last, most basic requirement for admission. Namely the ability of students to tie their own shoes.
Harvard and Yale both have developed curriculum for a new mandatory course: Shoe Tying 101. Attendance to this 16 credit-hour remedial course will be required for all students, however pass fail requirements will be fairly liberal. According to the grading rubric, all knots will be graded on a curve and there will no failing grades. Strong bow knots are the ideal, but not required. Weak bow knots are the standard. Square knots and granny knots are acceptable, as well as just tucking the laces into the shoes.
Students will be allowed to remove laces altogether if they feel that their psyche is being damaged by the arbitrary standards of shoe etiquette.