The exponential growth in catalytic converter theft is a growing concern among environmental groups. Catalytic converters, in case you weren’t aware, convert toxic greenhouse gasses generated by your car’s engine, into harmless water vapor. According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau (NICB) more than 64,000 catalytic converters were stolen in 2022. By our estimate, that would result in a 4,000% increase in automotive greenhouse gas emissions annually. Green activists are screaming for tougher sentencing guidelines in these types of thefts and warn that it must be taken soon.
“I don’t think we’re going to survive this,” said an anonymous spokesperson from the Department of Energy. “We must immediately stop catalytic converter theft. If not, global temperatures will rise 56 degrees over the July fourth holiday weekend this year alone. We are beyond being beyond the tipping point!”