Hawk tuah

In the wake of Biden’s disastrous performance at the presidential debate, VP Harris’ staff is hard at work preparing for a potential presidential bid. On Sunday’s Meet the Depressed, she was asked what her course of action would be if Biden stepped down. “Well first of all, no-one is saying that’s actually going to happen. But if he pulls out, I know exactly what to do. I’ve been in these situations before. It’s like that little girl says on the internet, Hawk tuah! Let’s get down to business”

Show host Chuck Todd probed deeper to flush out further details. Harris replied, “I fiercely defend Joe no matter what his family decides to do with him. But just in case, Team Harris is behind me and we’re going to do whatever it takes to do what we need to do.” She then added, “In fact, I’m preparing to receive Xi Jinping at a diplomatic affair later this week. Do you know how much money that guy has? He could out-fund the MAGA campaign ten times over and still never run out of cash. With a little hawk tuah, I could make him a huge ally.”