Earlier this week, a popular hacktivist group announced a massive downsizing. The Anonymous layoff of 15,000 “consultants” wraps up this week. After the announcement Monday, the dark web exploded with conspiracy theories on how a group as powerful as Anonymous could lose their primary revenue stream in just two days. It didn’t take long for internet sleuths to track down the most likely explanation.
As it turns out, the Risk Manager at Anonymous, code-named Snafu, was a plant. He (or she) is actually an operative from the rival redneck hacker group Unominous. Insiders confirm that this black hat double agent is known among his (or her) Unominous piers as Fubar. Under the leadership of Fubar, Unominous hatched an infiltration operation in late 2019. According to sources, they leveraged the Wuhan virus scare to join the Anonymous pandemic disinformation team. Fubar successfully infiltrated Anonymous and quickly moved up the ranks of the organization.
After learning how Anonymous hacked into banks and siphoned off money to fund their operations, Fubar laid in wait for an opportunity to strike. It only took two years. The redneck southern hackers of Unominous closely track emerging conspiracy theories. In late 2022, they identified a potential banking rift and alerted Fubar of the banks most likely to be affected. Once confidence in the conspiracy theory reached an unspecified threshold, Fubar switched the skimming operations to SVB and Signature banks. He (or she) used counter conspiracy propaganda, generated by Treasury and the Fed, to convince Anonymous leadership that it was a sound financial move. The banks crashed, and with Anonymous leadership hoodwinked, Fubar escaped undetected.
Unominous sources insist that Fubar is deep underground and will not resurface. Without help from the NSA, Anonymous has little hope of finding him (or her).