In a surprising twist, activist investment giants BlackRock and Vanguard are being forced to invest in some unusual “ethical” companies. Based on the investment groups policies, only “ethical” companies get investment dollars. But some crafty executives at Remington Arms have found a way to “hack” the investment “ethical” guardrails. BlackRock and Vanguard rely on “Environmental, Social and, corporate Governance” (ESG) scores to guide their investment processes. Remington, and companies like it, have boosted their ESG scores to the point that BlackRock cannot ignore them.
In the case of Remington, they’ve boosted their “Environmental” score by producing pistol cartridges out of aluminum, rather than the typical brass. On their website they claim the use of “sustainably sourced 100% recycled aluminum”. “We engage minority owned and operated businesses in our supply chain model.” their Chief Procurement Officer explained. “Our suppliers actively employ homeless people to collect, sort, and transport aluminum. They utilize zero carbon upcycled shopping carts in their transport model. We have also created lead free bullets to help reduce this known toxic chemical from inner cities. Our ultra dense, copper jacketed tungsten outperforms lead by 29%.”
Remington’s “Social” score took an instantaneous boost when two thirds of its board members publicly announced they were either gay, trans, lesbian, black, or some combination thereof. “We have the most diverse board in the industry,” claimed their newly appointed Director of Diversity, Fred “Whitey” Engles. The Diversity Director also went on to explain their new governance model, where anyone can whine about anything, as long as it’s not on company time. “Remington Arms employees feel they have a voice,” he said.
Now that the ESG hack has been exposed, more counteractivist companies are likely to regain investment shares from socialist investment firms like BlackRock and Vanguard.