Millions of Children Survive Zero Mass Shootings at Rural Fourth of July Parades

Mainstream media (MSM) is not under fire for reporting that millions of children survived absolutely zero mass shootings across the country on Tuesday. Unsurprisingly, the MSM also failed to report the fact that thousands of people present at the parades were packing heat. MSM is, however, under fire from several groups for failing to provide front page coverage for the weekends mass shooters. The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) blasted all MSM outlets on Twitter. In their tweet, SPLC lamented the problem. “Over the holiday weekend, mass shooters in Baltimore, Shreveport, Philidelphia, and Fort Worth were not given the major media recognition they deserved. The sad part is that they are ignored because they don’t meet required MSM perpetrator demographics. Why is it that only cis-gendered, white, male, MAGA hatted shooters with assault weapons get front page coverage?”

A simple Bing search shows that perp names in this weekend’s shootings are all but absent. Not only that, but the stories are buried deep in the website annals, covered in clickbait advertisements. The perps are frustrated that millions of children survived events that were significantly more dangerous than the ones they created. SPLC announced that they will be teaming up with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to bring awareness to this clear media bias.