Damascus Dispatch writers rage against elitest behavior

After eight months, one week, and six days of nonstop operations, Damascus Dispatch Editor in Chief, Peter Socul, decided it was time for a vacation. That’s 255 days in a row running the business. Sadly, Peter thinks his tireless effort entitles him to a week of vacation. Paid vacation, no doubt. What Peter fails to recognize is that we the writers are what make this business run. And his entitled attitude has triggered writers rage against elitist behavior.

When was the last time Raven Lair got paid time off? When will favored writer Tim Tinker get to take vacation? Why isn’t R.H. Undercroft lounging on a beach right now? And why didn’t I even get to take a paid holiday on MLK Day? The answer to all of these questions is that Peter is an entitled elitest living off the backs of his writers. We the writers at Damascus Dispatch aren’t going to take this lying down. We are planning to strike for the duration of Peter’s vacation.

As the Damascus Dispatch writers rage against elitiest behavior, there are things you the readers of this fine Parody Media Outlet can do. In the coming days, as we go on strike, we’ll be reposting some of our favorite articles. If you see one that strikes your fancy, share it with a friend by sending a link. Also encourage them to sign up for our daily newsletter. By expanding our reach, maybe Peter will make enough money to enable us to join in elitist behavior and take paid vacations as well.