Government agents from the Certified Recycled Traceability program monitor the addition of radioactive waste to recycled materials

In an effort to save the planet, many consumers are looking for products that incorporate recycled materials. But there are two big problems environmentally conscientious consumers face. The first issue is that manufacturers claims of recycled content are not easily verifiable. Secondly, language regarding recycled content is completely unregulated by the federal government. The DOE, under advisement of the Claremont Institute, has proposed a new Certified Recycled Traceability (CRT) program this week.

Secretary of the Department of Energy, Jennifer Granholm, unveiled the program at a press conference Saturday. “It is with great pleasure that I announce the Certified Recycled Traceability program, also known as CRT. This new program will positively address consumer concerns over recyclable traceability. But we aren’t stopping there. CRT will also help alleviate our long time problem of disposing of radioactive waste.”

Granholm went on to explain the program. “The DOE will be providing radioactive material to recycling plants across the country. Under close government supervision, recyclers will add trace amounts of radioisotopes to the recycled products. These radioactive signatures can then be easily monitored with a Geiger counter and labeling can be verified. The higher the counts, the more recycled material the product contains.”

An unnamed spokesman from the Claremont Institute acknowledged the organizations involvement in the project. “We see this as a real win-win situation. Climate extremists will be looking for products with the highest possible recycled content. And surrounding climate extremists with radioactive isotopes is certain to improve society as a whole.”