Behold the Damascus Dispatch Archives: where dark humor and political incorrectness lie waiting to be rediscovered.
- November 4, 2024–November 10, 2024 (4)
- October 28, 2024–November 3, 2024 (3)
- October 7, 2024–October 13, 2024 (3)
- September 30, 2024–October 6, 2024 (2)
- September 23, 2024–September 29, 2024 (4)
- July 29, 2024–August 4, 2024 (1)
- July 22, 2024–July 28, 2024 (1)
- July 15, 2024–July 21, 2024 (5)
- July 8, 2024–July 14, 2024 (7)
- July 1, 2024–July 7, 2024 (7)
- June 24, 2024–June 30, 2024 (6)
- June 17, 2024–June 23, 2024 (4)
- January 1, 2024–January 7, 2024 (1)
- September 18, 2023–September 24, 2023 (2)
- August 28, 2023–September 3, 2023 (3)
- August 21, 2023–August 27, 2023 (6)
- August 14, 2023–August 20, 2023 (5)
- August 7, 2023–August 13, 2023 (3)
- July 31, 2023–August 6, 2023 (4)
- July 24, 2023–July 30, 2023 (1)
- July 17, 2023–July 23, 2023 (6)
- July 10, 2023–July 16, 2023 (5)
- July 3, 2023–July 9, 2023 (5)
- June 26, 2023–July 2, 2023 (2)
- June 19, 2023–June 25, 2023 (2)
- June 12, 2023–June 18, 2023 (4)
- June 5, 2023–June 11, 2023 (7)
- May 29, 2023–June 4, 2023 (2)
- May 22, 2023–May 28, 2023 (3)
- May 15, 2023–May 21, 2023 (1)
- May 1, 2023–May 7, 2023 (5)
- April 24, 2023–April 30, 2023 (7)
- April 17, 2023–April 23, 2023 (5)
- April 10, 2023–April 16, 2023 (5)
- April 3, 2023–April 9, 2023 (7)
- March 27, 2023–April 2, 2023 (6)
- March 20, 2023–March 26, 2023 (6)
- March 13, 2023–March 19, 2023 (7)
- March 6, 2023–March 12, 2023 (7)
- February 27, 2023–March 5, 2023 (7)
- February 20, 2023–February 26, 2023 (7)
- February 13, 2023–February 19, 2023 (7)
- February 6, 2023–February 12, 2023 (6)
- January 30, 2023–February 5, 2023 (7)
- January 23, 2023–January 29, 2023 (7)
- January 16, 2023–January 22, 2023 (8)
- January 9, 2023–January 15, 2023 (7)
- January 2, 2023–January 8, 2023 (8)
- December 26, 2022–January 1, 2023 (1)
- December 26, 2022–January 1, 2023 (8)
- December 19, 2022–December 25, 2022 (9)
- December 12, 2022–December 18, 2022 (7)
- December 5, 2022–December 11, 2022 (7)
- November 28, 2022–December 4, 2022 (7)
- November 21, 2022–November 27, 2022 (7)
- November 14, 2022–November 20, 2022 (7)
- November 7, 2022–November 13, 2022 (7)
- October 31, 2022–November 6, 2022 (5)
- Misogynists, Stupid People Underestimated by Dems in 2024 Election
Exit polling data by Main Stream Media Bias Consulting (MSMBC) shows Misogynists and Stupid People were severely underestimated by Democrat strategists. According to MSMBC polling… Read more: Misogynists, Stupid People Underestimated by Dems in 2024 Election - Sit While You Pee! White Dudes for Harris Urge Men to Continue Being Loyal to the Cause After Kamala’s Devastating Defeat
After hearing of Kamala’s devastating loss to Donald Trump, White Dudes for Harris lead organizer took to X to lament. “There is no way around… Read more: Sit While You Pee! White Dudes for Harris Urge Men to Continue Being Loyal to the Cause After Kamala’s Devastating Defeat - Kamala Wins Whitehouse After Invoking 25th Amendment
In a stunning surprise Kamala wins whitehouse to become the first black female president of the United States. At her election campaign headquarters, an elated… Read more: Kamala Wins Whitehouse After Invoking 25th Amendment - Harris Demands Refunds from Paid Rally Goers After Losing Election
Harris demands refunds from paid rally goes, bus companies, event planners, and venues after losing the 2024 election. “You owe me,” she screamed after downing… Read more: Harris Demands Refunds from Paid Rally Goers After Losing Election - PETA Praises Peanut Execution
PETA recently praised the State of New York for the execution of Peanut the Squirrel. “The poor animal was forced into a life totally void… Read more: PETA Praises Peanut Execution - MGGA Harris-Walz New Mantra
In a stunning stroke of creative genius, the Harris-Walz campaign has come up with a completely original new mantra. Make Gas and Groceries Affordable (MGGA)… Read more: MGGA Harris-Walz New Mantra - Racist Trump Caught Stealing Black Jobs
In an effort to Make America Great Again, Trump took to driving a garbage truck Wednesday. When accused of stealing black jobs, he replied, “What… Read more: Racist Trump Caught Stealing Black Jobs - Weather Channel Fires Acting Coach, Chief Safety Officer Following Overly Dramatic Performance by Storm Reporters
The Weather Channel fired its head acting coach Wednesday after a pitiful performance by all of its storm reporters. Notorious soccer drama queen David Luiz… Read more: Weather Channel Fires Acting Coach, Chief Safety Officer Following Overly Dramatic Performance by Storm Reporters - FEMA GoFundMe Account Created to Purchase New Staff Shirts
After learning of their looming budget crisis, a FEMA GoFundMe Account has been established to purchase new shirts for its office and field staff. FEMA… Read more: FEMA GoFundMe Account Created to Purchase New Staff Shirts - WMO Updates Hurricane Naming Guidelines, All Storms Will Have the Last Name Trump
In an emergency meeting today, the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) updated its hurricane naming guidelines to include last names on all named storms. “By assigning… Read more: WMO Updates Hurricane Naming Guidelines, All Storms Will Have the Last Name Trump - Spirit Halloween Skirts Strike, Stocks Shelves with Harris/Walz Campaign Signs
On Tuesday, the International Longshoremen’s Association (ILA) went on strike, a move certain to cripple the US supply chain for weeks or even years to… Read more: Spirit Halloween Skirts Strike, Stocks Shelves with Harris/Walz Campaign Signs - Kamala Vows If She Were President, Helene Would Have Never Happened
At a campaign rally in Maine on Sunday, President Elect, Kamala Harris stated that Hurricane Helene would never have happened under a Harris presidency. “Thanks… Read more: Kamala Vows If She Were President, Helene Would Have Never Happened - Misinterpreted Search Results Ends in Tragedy
Robert Fellincroft of Glasgow Montana F’d around and found out. He placed his full trust in Google when looking for the perfect 6th wedding anniversary… Read more: Misinterpreted Search Results Ends in Tragedy - NC’s Mark Robinson to Star in Next Diddy Freak Off
Break out the lube voters. Not because you’re going to get bent over and shafted when Josh Stein wins the governorship. (Which you most certainly… Read more: NC’s Mark Robinson to Star in Next Diddy Freak Off - Gig Economy is Booming: Labor Department Boasts Job Opportunities up by 1 in September Following DoJ Publication of Trump Hit Contract
The US Labor Department published its September jobs report early this month. They were ecstatic to announce that the job market expanded by 1 whole… Read more: Gig Economy is Booming: Labor Department Boasts Job Opportunities up by 1 in September Following DoJ Publication of Trump Hit Contract - DoJ Advertises $150k Bounty on Former President
On Monday the Department of Justice (DoJ) Published a letter from accused would-be assassin Ryan Routh. Among other things, the letter offers a $150,000 bounty… Read more: DoJ Advertises $150k Bounty on Former President - Oxford Redefines Weird to Support Current Media Usage
In an unprecedented, yet unsurprising, move, the Oxford English Dictionary quietly updated its definition of ‘weird’ on Monday. Oxford redefines weird as the update below… Read more: Oxford Redefines Weird to Support Current Media Usage - Token White Guys: Kamala’s DEI Picks for VP
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz: Gotta get those Palestinian voters back. North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper: Blue blood from a Red state. Arizona Senator Mark Kelly:… Read more: Token White Guys: Kamala’s DEI Picks for VP - No Amount of Flossing Will Ever Satisfy Your Hygienist
After last year’s disappointing visit to the dental hygienist, our humble patient upped his flossing effort to 4 hours per week. The scowl on his… Read more: No Amount of Flossing Will Ever Satisfy Your Hygienist - Biden Honors Furry Hackers by Donning Cat Outfit and Pooping in Oval Office Litter box
President Biden honored “Furry Hackers” for their heroic data breech on the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 website. “We need their votes,” Biden said of the… Read more: Biden Honors Furry Hackers by Donning Cat Outfit and Pooping in Oval Office Litter box - Sloped Roofs Too Dangerous for Secret Service
In Tuesday’s press conference, Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle stated that sloped roofs are too dangerous for secret service snipers. She also told reporters that… Read more: Sloped Roofs Too Dangerous for Secret Service - “I’m All Ears”: Trump Reconsiders Project 2025 After Near Death Experience
On the opening day of the Republican National Convention, Former President Donald Trump appeared resolute on stage. He addressed the cheering crowd stating that it… Read more: “I’m All Ears”: Trump Reconsiders Project 2025 After Near Death Experience - Project 2025 Supports Post Term Abortions for Ivy League College Students
Things are going from bad to worse for the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025. Their call to rescue our kids, reclaim our culture, revive our economy,… Read more: Project 2025 Supports Post Term Abortions for Ivy League College Students - Shhhhhhhhh. He’s Sleeping
It’s 8:22 PM, and while assassins are out burning up the campaign trail, do you know where your president is? Shhhhhhhhh he’s sleeping. - Depend Dumps Biden, Signs “Poopy Whoopi” to Multimillion Dollar Endorsement Contract
Depend dumps Biden. Can you guess what the new slogan is at the end of their commercial? “If we can handle her $h!t, surely, we… Read more: Depend Dumps Biden, Signs “Poopy Whoopi” to Multimillion Dollar Endorsement Contract - 3d Printer Sales Spike Following Record Breaking Fourth of July Fireworks Injuries
Independence Day 2024 will go down as one of the most dangerous holidays in history. Early estimates are projecting nearly 19,400 injuries this year. The… Read more: 3d Printer Sales Spike Following Record Breaking Fourth of July Fireworks Injuries - 100,000 Rectal Thermometers Issued Under Biden’s Excessive Heat in the Workplace Rule
On Wednesday of last week, President Biden announced sweeping changes to protect workers from heat related injuries in the workplace. Federal Occupational Health and Safety… Read more: 100,000 Rectal Thermometers Issued Under Biden’s Excessive Heat in the Workplace Rule - Eagle to be Replaced by Swallow if Kamala Wins in 2024
The Harris campaign is working feverishly to get ahead of the game in the event that Biden pulls out of the 2024 presidential race. Of… Read more: Eagle to be Replaced by Swallow if Kamala Wins in 2024 - Biden Mistakes Sign from God as Cheap Fake
Over the weekend, Joe Biden mistook a sign from God as a cheap fake conjured up by MAGA Extremists. According to the President, he was… Read more: Biden Mistakes Sign from God as Cheap Fake - “Hawk Tuah! Let’s Get Down to Business” To Be Harris Campaign Slogan after Biden Pull-Out
In the wake of Biden’s disastrous performance at the presidential debate, VP Harris’ staff is hard at work preparing for a potential presidential bid. On… Read more: “Hawk Tuah! Let’s Get Down to Business” To Be Harris Campaign Slogan after Biden Pull-Out - The Butterfly Effect: Tragic Result of Biden’s Time Travel to Beat Trump Again in 2020
Time travel is a difficult thing to navigate, and we’re experiencing its tragic results right now. As Joe Biden traveled back to 2020 to beat Trump… Read more: The Butterfly Effect: Tragic Result of Biden’s Time Travel to Beat Trump Again in 2020 - Unforgettable Nuclear Fireworks Show: A Gift from Biden to Swing States
On the evening of July 4th, five states were treated to an unforgettable nuclear fireworks show. News broke that Trump was leading polls in Pennsylvania,… Read more: Unforgettable Nuclear Fireworks Show: A Gift from Biden to Swing States - NC License Plate Brings Record $13M at Auction
An anonymous person sent their unexpired NC license plate to the Trump campaign as a novel piece of memorabilia. Siezing a golden opportunity, Trump offered… Read more: NC License Plate Brings Record $13M at Auction - WNBA Will Change Rules to Protect Caitlin Clark
Amid mounting pressure, an announcement came today that the WNBA will change rules to protect rookie sensation Caitlin Clark. Clark has been flagrantly fouled in… Read more: WNBA Will Change Rules to Protect Caitlin Clark - Biden Nukes SCOTUS. Avoids Prosecution Citing Presidential Immunity
On Monday, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) ruled that Presidents are immune from criminal prosecution for official acts. After trashing the judges… Read more: Biden Nukes SCOTUS. Avoids Prosecution Citing Presidential Immunity - Dems Invoke ADA to Preserve Biden Presidency
Ever since last Thursday’s disastrous performance by Joe Biden at the presidential debacle, Democrats have been scrambling to find a way to keep him in… Read more: Dems Invoke ADA to Preserve Biden Presidency - Biden Nukes Beryl, Ends Existential Threat
In a stunning display of force, Joe Biden launched a small array of nuclear weapons at Hurricane Beryl. Beryl is the earliest and fastest developing… Read more: Biden Nukes Beryl, Ends Existential Threat - “More Cheap Fakes” Claims WH Press Secretary Following Presidential Debate
At an early press conference Friday, the White House Press Secretary came unhinged at the press corps. When asked about the President’s poor performance at… Read more: “More Cheap Fakes” Claims WH Press Secretary Following Presidential Debate - Stella Assange Files for Divorce Following Husband Julian’s Release from UK Prison
Stella Assange files for divorce after her husband Julian was released from Belmarsh prison in London Tuesday. Her lawyer B.C. Miner made a brief statement.… Read more: Stella Assange Files for Divorce Following Husband Julian’s Release from UK Prison - Biden Administration Finally Condemns Hamas for Not Having Diverse Enough Hostage Pool
The federal Department of Intersectional Equity (DIE) under the Biden administration has finally condemned Hamas. But not for the reason you would think. Their beef… Read more: Biden Administration Finally Condemns Hamas for Not Having Diverse Enough Hostage Pool - Giant Game of Tic Tac Toe Likely to Decide Biden Trump Debate
According to an anonymous informant at CNN, the outcome of Thursday’s presidential debate is likely to be decided by a giant game of Tic Tac… Read more: Giant Game of Tic Tac Toe Likely to Decide Biden Trump Debate - Real Housewives of The West Bank to Premier on Al Jizzeera
The Real Housewives franchise has been struggling in the US lately with viewership dropping to historic lows since its launch in 2006. Revolution Media, which… Read more: Real Housewives of The West Bank to Premier on Al Jizzeera - NOAA Revises Storm Names to be More Inclusive
Fifteen days into the 2024 storm season, NOAA has announced it will revise storm names to be more inclusive. The move comes amid mounting pressure… Read more: NOAA Revises Storm Names to be More Inclusive - What Does She Really Mean? WDSRM AI Destined to Change Humanity
Last week Apple announced that it would embed its new “Apple Intelligence” product in the newest version of software for iPhone, iPad, and Mac products.… Read more: What Does She Really Mean? WDSRM AI Destined to Change Humanity - Man Tracks Daughter on Life360, Learns Shocking Truth
Imagine this. Your teenage daughter is on her way home from school and makes an unexpected stop. Your Life360 alert goes off and you open… Read more: Man Tracks Daughter on Life360, Learns Shocking Truth - Catalytic Converter Theft, an Existential Threat
The exponential growth in catalytic converter theft is a growing concern among environmental groups. Catalytic converters, in case you weren’t aware, convert toxic greenhouse gasses… Read more: Catalytic Converter Theft, an Existential Threat - Southern Gays Demand Pronouns Y’all/Y’alls Be Included in LGBTQ+n Lexicon
Gays in the south have been shunned far too long and are now demanding their own unique pronouns. The Gay Americans Down South Society (GADSS)… Read more: Southern Gays Demand Pronouns Y’all/Y’alls Be Included in LGBTQ+n Lexicon - Spaceforce Academy Routs Marine Corps 1-0 in Blackrock Diversity & Inclusion Bowl
The US Space Force Academy’s “Proud Peacocks” trounced the Marine Corps in the first anal Blackrock Diversity and Inclusion Bowl sponsored by Massengill. The game,… Read more: Spaceforce Academy Routs Marine Corps 1-0 in Blackrock Diversity & Inclusion Bowl - Biden Releases Additional $6Bn to Iran for a Scoop of Ice Cream
The Biden administration has released an additional $6 billion dollars to Iran after being offered a scoop of ice cream. The single scoop of ice… Read more: Biden Releases Additional $6Bn to Iran for a Scoop of Ice Cream - Chest Cancer Awareness Month Announced by NFL
The NFL is looking for creative ways to increase its viewership which has been in decline for years. Their marketing geniuses have come up with… Read more: Chest Cancer Awareness Month Announced by NFL - Teen Drivers Frustrated at Becoming Their Parents’ Personal DoorDashers
Teen drivers, frustrated at becoming their parents’ personal door dashers, have created support groups at high schools across the country. They are gathering to lament… Read more: Teen Drivers Frustrated at Becoming Their Parents’ Personal DoorDashers - The Ultimate Home School Lunchbox
Right wing extreme survival food company Revolt Foods has just released their 2023 back-to-school lineup. Headlining this year’s product offerings is the ammo can, ultimate… Read more: The Ultimate Home School Lunchbox - NASCAR Bans Texting While Driving After Sunday’s Crash
After a wild crash where Ryan Preece experienced numerous arial barrel rolls at Daytona this weekend, NASCAR finally bans texting while driving. - Millennial Boomerangers Offended When Parents Rename Street Cockblock Blvd
Asheville, NC A group of parents, whose children returned home after successfully completing college, petitioned to have their street renamed. Residents of Kenilworth Road were… Read more: Millennial Boomerangers Offended When Parents Rename Street Cockblock Blvd - Jordan Peterson Compelled to Attend North Korean Reeducation Camp
The Ontario Superior Court has upheld the College of Psychologists sanctioning of Dr. Jordan Peterson. The college has imposed a fine of $25,000 Canadian Dollars… Read more: Jordan Peterson Compelled to Attend North Korean Reeducation Camp - Bud Light Juice Box Campaign Launched by Rachel Zegler
AB-Inbev announced today their new Bud Light juice box campaign starring Rachel Zegler. According to Chief Marketing Officer Benoit Garbe, the intent is to attract… Read more: Bud Light Juice Box Campaign Launched by Rachel Zegler - Biden Wins Republican Debate as 57 Candidates Continue to Divide Their Party
Even the most casual political observer would agree that Biden came out on top of last nights debate. The 57 republican candidates argued over who… Read more: Biden Wins Republican Debate as 57 Candidates Continue to Divide Their Party - Biden Pledges Kittens for Maui Wildfire Victims
The president was finally pressured to end his beach vacation to visit the Maui wildfire site. He addressed a crowd of nearly 1,000 ashen corpses… Read more: Biden Pledges Kittens for Maui Wildfire Victims - FDA Bans Fudge Rounds After Oliver Anthony Uproar
Hundreds of workers will lose their jobs after the FDA bans fudge rounds. The FDA action was triggered by the release of Oliver Anthony’s viral… Read more: FDA Bans Fudge Rounds After Oliver Anthony Uproar - DOE Proposes New Certified Recycled Traceability (CRT) Program
In an effort to save the planet, many consumers are looking for products that incorporate recycled materials. But there are two big problems environmentally conscientious… Read more: DOE Proposes New Certified Recycled Traceability (CRT) Program - Savvy Investors Prefer Lead
While gold is the best hedge against inflation, today’s savvy investors prefer lead. Most investment strategies are based on relatively predictable – or at least… Read more: Savvy Investors Prefer Lead - Man Dies of Thirst Searching for Hydration App on Apple Watch
When a man dies of thirst, people immediately wonder if he was lost in the desert or wilderness somewhere. But not these days. Recently, 27… Read more: Man Dies of Thirst Searching for Hydration App on Apple Watch - Biden Pardons Ghislane Maxwell on the Grounds There Were No Miners on Epstein Island
In an unprecedented move Tuesday, President Joe Biden gave a full presidential pardon to convicted sex trafficker Ghislane Maxwell. At a press conference Biden stated,… Read more: Biden Pardons Ghislane Maxwell on the Grounds There Were No Miners on Epstein Island - DOJ Opens Investigation into Oliver Anthony For Tax Evasion, Drugs, Plagiarism, Incitement, Election Tampering, Fat Shaming, & Libel
The DOJ has opened an investigation into Oliver Anthony for numerous violations of the law. Anthony is the weekend internet sensation whose song “Rich Men… Read more: DOJ Opens Investigation into Oliver Anthony For Tax Evasion, Drugs, Plagiarism, Incitement, Election Tampering, Fat Shaming, & Libel - Woman Loses Arm Trying to Remove Sweaty Sports Bra
A woman who recently took up fitness classes to improve her health, lost her left arm while trying to remove a sweaty sports bra. The… Read more: Woman Loses Arm Trying to Remove Sweaty Sports Bra - DOE Bans Gas Generators. Requires Home Generators Be All Electric by 2022
In another effort to “save the planet“, the DOE bans gas generators. Additionally, they’ve demanded that residential and commercial generators be all electric by December… Read more: DOE Bans Gas Generators. Requires Home Generators Be All Electric by 2022 - First Ever World Cup Participation Trophy Awarded to USWNT
Megan Rapinoe and the US Womens National Team (USWNT) suffered a stunning loss to Sweden Sunday. However, the loss didn’t keep the USWNT from “celebrating… Read more: First Ever World Cup Participation Trophy Awarded to USWNT - Transplaining: The Latest Tactic of Far-Right Extremists
Far right extremists have been pulling out all the stops lately to counter the Trans movement. Transplaining is their latest tactic. You may be wondering,… Read more: Transplaining: The Latest Tactic of Far-Right Extremists - NEA Bans Term Concertmaster Out of Racism Fears
The National Endowment of the Arts (NEA) has banned the term Concertmaster because of its racist connotations. The NEA announced that it will cease funding… Read more: NEA Bans Term Concertmaster Out of Racism Fears - California Child Molester Transferring to Juvenile Detention Center After Filing TransMinor Status
Convicted California Child Molester, Chester Nutlick, has been granted a transfer to a juvenile detention center. This after Mr. Nutlick declared that he identified as… Read more: California Child Molester Transferring to Juvenile Detention Center After Filing TransMinor Status - Tampax Offers Trans Training Kits, Promoted By Miss Netherlands 2023
In an effort to become even more inclusive, Tampax now offers “Trans Training Kits” designed to teach men how to be women. The trans training… Read more: Tampax Offers Trans Training Kits, Promoted By Miss Netherlands 2023 - Biden Declared Incompetent to Face Bribery Charges. Still Qualified to Lead the U.S.
Sunday, the DOJ made a preemptive move having President Joe Biden declared incompetent to face any charges related to bribery, corruption, embezzlement, sexual harassment, child… Read more: Biden Declared Incompetent to Face Bribery Charges. Still Qualified to Lead the U.S. - Another Old Favorite
Since the writers are on strike, we’re sharing another old favorite. Here’s a link to our very first post at Damascus Dispatch. - Post From the Past
Since the writers are on strike, here is a favorite post from the past. Here’s a link to a great article about Biden’s first coloring… Read more: Post From the Past - Harris’ 10 Point Population Reduction Plan
Last Friday, Kamala Harris stated in a speech that the US needed to reduce population to help fight The Impending Climate Disaster. Today, the office… Read more: Harris’ 10 Point Population Reduction Plan - Damascus Dispatch Writers Strike: They’re Just A Bunch of Whiney B!tc#e$
Yesterday another Damascus Dispatch writers strike was announced by the staff here at DamDis.com. What’s sad is that they have no idea what they’re talking… Read more: Damascus Dispatch Writers Strike: They’re Just A Bunch of Whiney B!tc#e$ - Writers Rage Against Elitist Behavior as Damascus Dispatch Editor Takes Vacation
After eight months, one week, and six days of nonstop operations, Damascus Dispatch Editor in Chief, Peter Socul, decided it was time for a vacation.… Read more: Writers Rage Against Elitist Behavior as Damascus Dispatch Editor Takes Vacation - Reduce Population?Kamala Harris suggests that if we reduce population, we can have more clean air for our children. WTF?
- Information Contagion Bigger Threat than Global Warming
The Biden administration has declared “Information Contagion” aka InfoCon as a greater threat to humanity than global warming. In a recent address, Vice President Kamala… Read more: Information Contagion Bigger Threat than Global Warming - Biden Sends Troops to Europe “Because We’re Running Out of Ammo”
President Joe Biden announced yesterday that he’d be sending up to 3,000 reservists to Europe. This, in an effort to augment existing forces there in… Read more: Biden Sends Troops to Europe “Because We’re Running Out of Ammo” - Global Climate Activists Alarmed at Starlink Satellites Blocking Necessary Solar Energy
A recently posted Instagram reel shows a horrifying animation of all the Starlink satellites that have been deployed to date. In the video you can… Read more: Global Climate Activists Alarmed at Starlink Satellites Blocking Necessary Solar Energy - Global Warming Alarmists Rejoice at Starlink Satellites Blocking Harmful Solar Rays
A recently posted Instagram reel shows an amazing animation of all the Starlink satellites that have been deployed to date. In the video you can… Read more: Global Warming Alarmists Rejoice at Starlink Satellites Blocking Harmful Solar Rays - Meister Brau Crushes Bud Light for No 2 Sales Spot
World’s worst beer, Meister Brau crushes Bud Light in sales for the first time ever and takes the number two sales spot in the United… Read more: Meister Brau Crushes Bud Light for No 2 Sales Spot - China Declares Prime Day a National Holiday
China declares Prime Day as a national holiday on expectations it will generate billions in tax free revenue. Thanks to an obscure trade law known… Read more: China Declares Prime Day a National Holiday - Share a Coke With Hunter Selling for $63,296 on Ebay
Back in 2012, this seemingly innocuous bottle of Coca-Cola sold for 82 cents but if you want to Share a Coke with Hunter today it’ll… Read more: Share a Coke With Hunter Selling for $63,296 on Ebay - Millions of Children Survived Zero Mass Shootings at Small Town Fourth of July Parades Across America Despite Presence of Thousands of Concealed Handguns, Assault Rifles, & Shotguns
Mainstream media (MSM) is not under fire for reporting that millions of children survived absolutely zero mass shootings across the country on Tuesday. Unsurprisingly, the… Read more: Millions of Children Survived Zero Mass Shootings at Small Town Fourth of July Parades Across America Despite Presence of Thousands of Concealed Handguns, Assault Rifles, & Shotguns - Oval Office Blowjob was a Much Worse Offense Than West Wing Cocaine, According to Hillary
Former First Lady Hillary Clinton weighed in on the recent West Wing cocaine debacle during an interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live. When asked about her… Read more: Oval Office Blowjob was a Much Worse Offense Than West Wing Cocaine, According to Hillary - Hunter Biden Reports “Recreational Pharmaceuticals” Stolen from Whitehouse Bedroom. Denies Connection to Cocaine Found in West Wing
Immediately after reporting that there was cocaine found in the West Wing of the White House, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) scrambled to suppress evidence… Read more: Hunter Biden Reports “Recreational Pharmaceuticals” Stolen from Whitehouse Bedroom. Denies Connection to Cocaine Found in West Wing - Solid Waste Environmental Efficiency Plan Aims to Reduce Carbon Emissions in NYC
New York City Department of Environmental Protection is at it again, finding creative new ways to reduce the city’s carbon footprint. Their latest effort, the… Read more: Solid Waste Environmental Efficiency Plan Aims to Reduce Carbon Emissions in NYC - NYC Environmental Department Imposes Pizzeria Meat Restrictions
Last week, New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) implemented new rules to save the planet. The new regulations require restaurants using coal or… Read more: NYC Environmental Department Imposes Pizzeria Meat Restrictions - Investors Flee Vanguard After Hearing BlackRock Offers Low Price Senators at $10K
Investment giant Vanguard is losing investors after an undercover video from James O’keefe dropped on twitter last night. In the video, a BlackRock recruiter brags… Read more: Investors Flee Vanguard After Hearing BlackRock Offers Low Price Senators at $10K - Uncle Raul Hosts Trudeau on Father’s Day in Cuba
Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, made a surprise last minute trip to Cuba on Sunday to celebrate Father’s Day. Upon arriving he was personally received… Read more: Uncle Raul Hosts Trudeau on Father’s Day in Cuba - Fathers Day Barbeque Ends in Tragedy When Dad Insists on Barbecuing in a Rain Poncho
Damascus Dispatch field correspondent and investigative reporter, Tim Tinker’s Fathers day ended tragically after he insisted on grilling in the rain. As a lifelong Father’s… Read more: Fathers Day Barbeque Ends in Tragedy When Dad Insists on Barbecuing in a Rain Poncho - BlackRock, Vanguard Forced to Invest in Remington Arms Based on High ESG Scores
In a surprising twist, activist investment giants BlackRock and Vanguard are being forced to invest in some unusual “ethical” companies. Based on the investment groups… Read more: BlackRock, Vanguard Forced to Invest in Remington Arms Based on High ESG Scores - TSA to Implement Trans Scanners
Recently, an airline passenger couldn’t be successfully screened as either “male” or “female” by airport passenger scanning devices. The “trans” identifying person was initially sent… Read more: TSA to Implement Trans Scanners - Pathetic Pride Flag Display Triggers SPLC Lawsuit
The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) is suing the US Government over its pathetic pride flag display this weekend. SPLC Chairman Logan Aimone announced the… Read more: Pathetic Pride Flag Display Triggers SPLC Lawsuit - Man Busted After Wife Discovers Secret Nextdoor Kitten Adoption Search Results
A man was busted by his wife after she discovered he was secretly searching for kitten adoptions on the popular neighborhood app “Nextdoor”. The secret… Read more: Man Busted After Wife Discovers Secret Nextdoor Kitten Adoption Search Results - Mistaken Castration: Bizarre New Crime Wave
“Francis” Elmsway recently woke up in a hospital with a cataclysmic pain in his crotch. He knew that his vasectomy was going to be painful,… Read more: Mistaken Castration: Bizarre New Crime Wave - Bidens Bud Light Bailout: The Beer Too Big To Fail
Late Thursday evening, President Joe Biden signed a landmark executive order that will authorize the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (BATF) to bail out… Read more: Bidens Bud Light Bailout: The Beer Too Big To Fail - Joint Forces Pride Medal Announced by DoD
Not to be outdone by Girl Scouts, today the US Department of Defense (DoD) Announced their release of the newly commissioned Joint Forces Pride Medal.… Read more: Joint Forces Pride Medal Announced by DoD